Life in perspective
Every once in a while outside events will inspire one to re-evaluate what's truly important. Mundane issues like "I missed my show!", "I received a parking ticket!", "I slept in!", "This traffic is horrible!", "I can't believe that my shirt is stained", "I received a flat tire!", "This day is too hot", "This day is too cold", "I can't find a parking spot!" and others begin appearing insignificant relative to a whole.
Sometimes this reflection is triggered by events that happened by those you don't know and other times by those who are close. In the past week, two of these have been triggered by those I know- one serious and one fatal.
Ben-
Two days ago I received a distressed call informing me that a family friend, who was living in New Mexico, was in a fatal car accident. I am unsure of the details, but our friend passed away. He was 24.
Ben and I first met while selling goods at the farmers markets. His family was known as the Goat people (sold goat cheese) and we were referred to as the people with the gourmet dips. A good friend, he and I shared the common interests of skiing and -when younger- video games.
As time went on, our friendship waned but we kept up with what each one was doing. In an odd way, I became a mentor of his by proxy. After I hired on at Los Alamos National Laboratory, he became inspired to learn the field of computers, and eventually gained employment at Sandia National Laboratory; as I attempted to shed my youth and grow, he followed suit.
Since I could remember, he always had the plan of stability- the desire of the house, the wife, and the kids; and, with fixed determination, he successfully pursued those ends. Through his frugality, and dedication, he was able to purchase a house at a rather early age. Through his persistence, and devotion, he managed to find a kind and loving wife. And, through the mutual love for one another, they had planned to have kids within a year or two.
His passing is unfortunate and untimely, but, though young, he managed to achieve much of what he wanted from his life.
My Brother-in-Law
While riding his motorcycle through a lightly trafficked stretch of Santa Monica, a car made a sudden turn, blocking Daves path. Dave, going about 30 MPH didn't have enough room to stop. So, with only seconds to spare, he evaluated his options. Either veer onto the other lane, and run head on into the approaching car or, drop the bike and use it as a form of protection while he skid into the car. He opted for the latter. And, though the decision may have been the better of the two, he was still injured.
At about 7:00pm Friday evening, he called to inform us that he'd been in an accident. At the time of his call, he believed he was OK. Though, for precautionary sake, the paramedics wanted to take him to the hospital. By about 7:30 he was feeling OK, and wanted to head home, but was having difficulties moving his legs. The hospital took him into the ER where they started running tests. About an hour or so later, his vitals began fluctuating, and he started going into a mild shock. The ER ran a sonogram across his lower back and discovered that an artery had been bleeding internally. Within minutes, he was taken into surgery to stop the bleeding. Two hours later, they'd determined that his artery had healed itself, and that their was no other internal bleeding.
Once they'd ensured the internal bleeding had ceased, he was given a Cat-Scan. With the information, they determined that his pelvis had been fractured in two different places. And, he was going to need a plate to refuse the pelvic bone.
Dave finally had surgery on Tuesday (4 days after the accident). Everything was successful, and he has regained control of his lower legs (prior to surgery, though he could wiggle his feet, he was unable to move his lower legs.) In a couple of days, we hope to have him back home.
Things like this make one really appreciate not just the years in our lives but also the months, and days. Petty issues that we sometimes obsess over immediately become transformed into "not really important". Life seems to play out like a complex play. One we can either appreciate, even in the moments of bad, or, dismiss all as an un-enjoyable escapade, that we are forced to sit back and watch. I've always liked perceiving the event as a wonderful show, one full of interesting, if not sometimes abstract, events. Ultimately, our comfort is determined more by the way we watch the show rather than what is being watched.
Sometimes this reflection is triggered by events that happened by those you don't know and other times by those who are close. In the past week, two of these have been triggered by those I know- one serious and one fatal.
Ben-
Two days ago I received a distressed call informing me that a family friend, who was living in New Mexico, was in a fatal car accident. I am unsure of the details, but our friend passed away. He was 24.
Ben and I first met while selling goods at the farmers markets. His family was known as the Goat people (sold goat cheese) and we were referred to as the people with the gourmet dips. A good friend, he and I shared the common interests of skiing and -when younger- video games.
As time went on, our friendship waned but we kept up with what each one was doing. In an odd way, I became a mentor of his by proxy. After I hired on at Los Alamos National Laboratory, he became inspired to learn the field of computers, and eventually gained employment at Sandia National Laboratory; as I attempted to shed my youth and grow, he followed suit.
Since I could remember, he always had the plan of stability- the desire of the house, the wife, and the kids; and, with fixed determination, he successfully pursued those ends. Through his frugality, and dedication, he was able to purchase a house at a rather early age. Through his persistence, and devotion, he managed to find a kind and loving wife. And, through the mutual love for one another, they had planned to have kids within a year or two.
His passing is unfortunate and untimely, but, though young, he managed to achieve much of what he wanted from his life.
My Brother-in-Law
While riding his motorcycle through a lightly trafficked stretch of Santa Monica, a car made a sudden turn, blocking Daves path. Dave, going about 30 MPH didn't have enough room to stop. So, with only seconds to spare, he evaluated his options. Either veer onto the other lane, and run head on into the approaching car or, drop the bike and use it as a form of protection while he skid into the car. He opted for the latter. And, though the decision may have been the better of the two, he was still injured.
At about 7:00pm Friday evening, he called to inform us that he'd been in an accident. At the time of his call, he believed he was OK. Though, for precautionary sake, the paramedics wanted to take him to the hospital. By about 7:30 he was feeling OK, and wanted to head home, but was having difficulties moving his legs. The hospital took him into the ER where they started running tests. About an hour or so later, his vitals began fluctuating, and he started going into a mild shock. The ER ran a sonogram across his lower back and discovered that an artery had been bleeding internally. Within minutes, he was taken into surgery to stop the bleeding. Two hours later, they'd determined that his artery had healed itself, and that their was no other internal bleeding.
Once they'd ensured the internal bleeding had ceased, he was given a Cat-Scan. With the information, they determined that his pelvis had been fractured in two different places. And, he was going to need a plate to refuse the pelvic bone.
Dave finally had surgery on Tuesday (4 days after the accident). Everything was successful, and he has regained control of his lower legs (prior to surgery, though he could wiggle his feet, he was unable to move his lower legs.) In a couple of days, we hope to have him back home.
Things like this make one really appreciate not just the years in our lives but also the months, and days. Petty issues that we sometimes obsess over immediately become transformed into "not really important". Life seems to play out like a complex play. One we can either appreciate, even in the moments of bad, or, dismiss all as an un-enjoyable escapade, that we are forced to sit back and watch. I've always liked perceiving the event as a wonderful show, one full of interesting, if not sometimes abstract, events. Ultimately, our comfort is determined more by the way we watch the show rather than what is being watched.
posted by Arin | 10:02 AM
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